Category Archives: Poems

Linkd In Blues

 

You need to join Linkd in!!….
said Mr HR with a smile.
His lifeless, bored expression-
made me think of Oscar Wilde…***
And, oozing insincerety-
he stuck his arm out – shook my hand.
We both knew he was lying…with his
“I’ll touch base when I can”.

 


Terry Thomas, 1958.

 

So under pressure from the missus-

I logged on and commenced to type
With a nasty nagging feeling that
I was joining a world of Hype..
I had to record just what I’d done
where I’d been, and where I could go
For some modern day evangelist
to establish just who I know!

 

It crossed my mind to add some people
Just make requests from out of the blue
A bagman, would make me interesting…or hell!
Even a prostitute or two!
But I think they wanted progressive types
Those that look good in a suit
Some one to foster an image that
Would make me the perfect recruit

So I called my friend John Metherell, as
Waikato men know the score…
‘wouldn’t touch it with a barge pole mate
tho Ive told you that before.”
And with his left foot firmly forward
And a slight pontifical grin
Suggested that to even follow that path
Would lead to occasions of sin.

Well, …I started in this life
feeding cows and tending sheep
and here I am in a post truth world
with time beginning to creep.
My lovely wife will not be happy
But I’m afraid Ive got bad news…
Someone’s gonna have to tell her
Ive got the Linkd in ……washed out….fed up
Hacked off…..

blues

…*** (always be sincere even when you don’t mean it)

 

 


“got experience in SQL, Javascript and PHP? Hell yeah!”

 

The Train Ride

train ride
click pic to zoom

this resulted after taking our grand daughter to the miniature train playground at Halswell… everything was great… until the train started moving.  She then proceeded to scream for the entire trip!!!
Some exaggeration has been included… the heroics of Grandy Boy only occurred in his mind…

The Train Ride-© Chas Williams 

At first I thought it was really neat..-
I had my own compartment and a first class seat
So.. I sat right up front- where the driver sits
Just me and my Dad- he was thrilled to bits.

 

Mum was there too- with Nan and Boy
Along with.. I think.. my favourite toy
We’d no sooner sat down- enjoying the fun
When all hell let loose and things came undone.

 

We’d started off slowly.. but came a hiss and a roar
And I heard someone screaming and banging a door
Soon people were  shouting and beginning to plead
But we were racing down hill at a ridiculous speed

 

 

We flew around corners, down hills and through mud
The smoke was atrocious ( and don’t mention the blood)
I hung on for dear life and grabbed at Dad’s neck
But I could tell by his eyes he was a gibbering wreck

 

I looked back at Mum- but that was no use
She was holding up Nan- who was screaming abuse
And just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore
GRANDY BOY stood up.. and he raced to the door

 

He shut down the engine- and he pulled at the brake
And he kicked at the driver- who was FINALLY awake
We shuddered about until we screamed to a halt
And Dad glared at the Driver- as it was clearly his fault…

 

But before he could start… with a move brave and bold
Grandy Boy grabbed at the Driver… and he knocked him out cold!!!
It was all a bit risky..,. and too much of a strain….
Oh I don’t care what you think…. you can stick your old train!!!

 

 

 The Cleaner

This is a true story…..

The Cleaner-© Chas Williams 

My wife is starting to panic
And..just maybe… losing the plot
“I knew you’d both forget” she said
“Youre a lazy blimmin’ lot..
Pick up those books-And hide those shoes
Before I turn real mean..
This place needs a tidy up
Because…
I’ve got someone coming to clean”!!!

 

“I need a line to hang the shirts
So fix something to the wall..
After you’ve done that job
Just vacuum done the hall
This place looks like a pig sty.. and..oh.
Just look at the mess near the sink!
We’ve got to clean this house up now…
Goodness me…
what will the cleaner think!

 

I been Defaced

© Chas Williams 

(I noticed recently that one or two who used to send me stuff no longer do so. (Note-For some reason- I think this sounds better read in a West Indian accent- go on- you can do it!!)

I been defaced…
I been deleted from de book!
At least that way it seem to be
De last time that I look

Yes- him what done de scratchin’
Decided that he must..
Deface de face what did not fit…
and so i bit de dust!

And though I hardly know him
And barely know his name
i feel deep down we best of friend
And i miss him just the same.

And I miss the daily snapshot
Of everything he eat
What he say and what he think
Though sometimes he repeat

And now I got no photo
Of his thousand dog and cat
Life can be the same no more
When things turned off just like that!

i have to find another friend
What i can add into my book
So they can send me lotsa photo
Of how they used to look.

And when I find this person
I really try my best
To be a sharing caring soul
So…. I be waiting for request!

I been defaced…I been deleted from de book!

 

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